The Answer Key

If you are single and getting yourself together, congratulations on learning how to be comfortable with being by yourself. Some people become relationship hoppers. They can barely make it through two months of facing themselves in the mirror and once they are dating, watch out! Before you know it, they will be moving in or at least fantasizing about it. I am so glad you realized that there is nothing wrong with embracing your hiatus and focusing on yourself, healing the wounds whatshis/hername may have left, and just being content with being with you. Kudos! You are already ten steps ahead of your competition. For the rest of you, you may be simply single or already single and looking; whenever the latter is the case, take applications and lots of them. Keep an open-mind while dating.While you may not think someone is "the one" at first glance, you never know. Dating an unlikely candidate could surprise you. To be perfectly honest, every date may not be marriage materia...

I noticed that when I counsel someone of our generation there has been an ongoing trend. Most of their fears come from a place of inferiority. Whether it is their parents, their spouse, their friends or just society in general, their greatest fear is not living up to someone else's expectation. I figured, what if we all changed the game? What if we decided that way of living was no longer acceptable? We spend most of our lives trying to achieve, succeed, impress or be the best at something, but I think it is time we give ourselves a break. Sure, I know we all can not just quit going to work, not show up for appointments, and stop paying bills, we still have to be responsible, but I am simply suggesting that those things stop being all that we do. Let me be the first to let you off the hook. Now, I know what you are thinking- time is precious. Any time not spent on the grind is time wasted, not true. While time is one of few things we can not do over, get back, return, o...

Last week I went on my Pinterest and combed through hundreds, possibly thousands of home remedies, recipes, DIY projects to attempt, things to do, places to visit, magic tricks, and amazing dream trips for my bucket list, and I got to thinking about how many of them were not real, would not work, and would basically be an epic fail. Not necessarily the places but the remedies recipes, projects, tricks and tips that I have been storing for "one day". Well, the day has come, several days in fact. I must say for the most part, I was pleasantly surprised. The first DIY trick I tackled was homemade shaving gel. The pin I have claimed that it would be a money saver, and it asserts I would have smoother legs, a closer shave, and my blade would last longer. While I can not speak to the shelf-life of my razor just yet, I will tell you that this is definitely a Hit in my book. It took under five minutes to make with baby oil, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion. I shaved my legs lickity...

Sometimes when you are trying to lose weight you can come to a plateau. It may seem like no matter how hard you work, how accountable you are, or how many yucky, fat-free, low cal. pieces of cardboard you ingest, you just can not lose; if you do it is not nearly as fast as it was in the beginning, and at best it is only a pound or two. Sound familiar? I have been there. It can be discouraging even depressing. So what do you do when you run into a weight-loss road block? First and foremost, do not give up. Continue to count your calories, eat healthy, workout, drink plenty of water, and gain a better understanding of your body. Your body is very smart. It can get used to your workout routine, your eating habits, and become comfortable with your weight loss thus far. That said, you need to shake things up a bit. Do not change the game, change the rules. Losing weight takes work and commitment, but it also takes movement. Start by trying a completely different workout routine than y...

Holding a grudge actually holds you back from moving forward. It keeps a piece of you stagnant, stuck in the past, grounded to a situation that can not be undone.   I am not saying you can not be hurt or angry- you are human, but do not sew that emotion into the fabric of who you are, and carry it with you.  I too have been wronged, hurt, and betrayed before and it is no fun, but let me tell you- the ones that do those things to you will suffer far longer than you ever could if you would just let it go as soon as possible.  Holding a grudge alters your energy.  It changes the energy you give off as well. That said, t here are plenty of real tragedies in life, try not to sweat the small stuff, and just live.  Breathe peace into your heart and over your life. Stay in a positive place, learn from the experience, and do not let it happen again.  Learn to let go, and just b e grateful for even the smallest blessings because you would miss them if they were not ...

We all have dreams, goals, and adventures on our bucket list. Many of us spend time blogging about them or searching and pinning them on Pinterest. Today I pondered how many of those things will any of us do, try, see, or visit in reality, and the truth is some of us will never see our Pinterest or dream boards come to fruition. I say, let's give it a go. Everything within in reason of course, deserves at least one attempt. I started with recipes and I must say, I was not disappointed and neither were the guys. Last week I made a skinny-chicken parm, and took the boys to the zoo. This week I will attempt one of my DIY projects and a dessert for a labor Day party we are attending this weekend. Obviously, I started small, but hey, you have to start somewhere. Whatever it is you desire needs your focus, commitment, and attention. If you want to lose weight, get to the business of getting it done. Set a goal, cut your calories, eat healthier foods more often, drink lots of water...

Your energy and your time may be spendable but it is also limited and can not be regained. Once you have given it away it is gone forever. Remind yourself of those facts when you entertain wasting your energy instead of investing it. Avoid wasteful actions such as arguing. Find a better way to get your point across and once you have, understand that the other party has a right to accept or deny your position. Badgering them will not make them change their mind if it is already made up. This is a rule I have struggled with myself. I have wanted someone to understand my perspective so badly I could argue with them for hours. However, at this time in my life, I have realized that whether someone agrees with me or sees my point of view or not, that does not, can not, and will not have an adverse affect on me- or at least it does not have to. Now, I try to state my piece, and let it go. Let them do what they please with the information whether I like it or not. If the person is r...

We must embrace the perfection in being imperfect. Be perfect for you, no longer yielding to the expectations of anyone but yourself. How do you measure up to the person you would like to be? What are you doing to become that person? In life we envision what we want- it becomes the goal. Then we focus, plan, and prepare the path we will take to get there. You may struggle, but with every trial you gain knowledge. Even if you fail now, your next attempt will be better because you learned from your previous attempt. The more you try the more knowledge you gain, the more progress you make, and the more you grow. You are that much closer than you were when you began your journey, and your persistence will take you wherever you want to go, give you whatever you want to get, and be the person you hope to become.   No doctor ever decides today they want to become a doctor and becomes one tomorrow. It takes a goal, a plan, and time. The more time and focus you put on your craft, your ...

It would be nice to know that life would always go according to plan. Over every obstacle we would triumph, any thing worth trying we would accomplished, whatever we would start would get completed, anywhere we would want to go we would get there, and setbacks as we know it would be virtually obsolete. But what would we learn and appreciate then? I think the point of living, experiencing, and navigating through life is to teach us something, give value and appreciation to what we want and get out of life. One of the problems I see recurring is that small road blocks are viewed as boulders. Initial impact can hurt, confuse, or shake you, but never let it break you. Remind yourself frequently that the energy and time you waste dwelling on the problem itself is blocking you from getting to the solution. It takes work, but force yourself to think in that way, and you will find your way out of any bad situation. A problem is never bigger than its solution- get busy finding it. In some...

It is critical to our happiness that we make decisions that have a positive impact on our lives. While the decision may not be popular, it may very well save us from unnecessary disappointment in the future.We often times neglect or refrain from doing the things in our best interest because of what we want in the now. We can create our own obstacles and unconsciously do or not do what we would otherwise recognize as beneficial to us solely, because it goes against what we want instead of what we need or is best for us. Take a moment to weigh your odds. Sometimes the very thing we want most is just not in our best interest. Unfortunately, our vision can be clouded by our desire, the desire can become bigger than our bigger picture, and therefore overshadow the manner in which we can better help, comfort, aid, or relieve ourselves from a dire situation. We can literally work against ourselves, become the villain in our own life's novella. In fact, the const...

Every day may not be the best day of your life, but the anticipation of a new opportunity to have the best day ever should put a smile on your face. Even during the worst, most desperate and depressing times in your life, knowing that you may see another day to try again, do things better, over, or differently is the way you move forward. Focusing on your opportunities, advantages, benefits and blessings verses your let-downs, disappointments, regrets, or misfortunes pushes you in a positive direction. Moving forward is vital to your happiness, and the lack of your forward motion will lead to your dismay. We all have been through major trials and triumphs. Learning from even the most miserable experiences yet refusing to let them direct your life is your first step forward. Recently, I was reflecting on a situation that I faced that could have broken me, but at the time I did not realize or acknowledge its magnitude. While I did not make lite of it either, I certainly mainta...

We all participate in relationships that fall beneath our expectations.We tend to think that our silent requests, demands, needs and wants are common-knowledge and should go without saying. We can even fall into an existence where we truly believe our expectations should be met without delay, question, or explanation. The problem is, for most of our requests, no matter how simple, our partners simply do not work that way. There are no mind-readers, and they definitely do not come armed with a manual on the many things and ways to please you, thus leaving you (in your silence) without, waiting, longing and still wanting, or indefinitely deprived of whatever it is you seek. If that is an accurate description of your circumstance, keep reading. Your expectation is the hope, belief, probability or anticipation of a specific result, outcome, effect, or reaction, but expectation comes with no guarantee. The only means of knowing wh...

Many of us have taken part in the blame game before. It was his or her fault. Their offenses were far greater than our own. We tried to fix it, but they gave up on us. Hopefully, once we climb down off that huge stack of s---self-pity, we get to the root of what really happened there. When you understand what causes a break up there is no "one" to blame. There are simply issues that went unresolved. Understanding what ends a relationship and the part you play in that ending is crucial. It could be anything lacking: intimacy, trust, communication, the list could go on for days, but understanding where your former relationship stands on its demise is vital to the longevity of your next one. You have to be careful not to bring any poor habits into your new relationship that could hurt its chances. Unfortunately, some form of baggage is inevitable, but it can be used to your advantage. We need it as a friendly reminder of what not to do the next time, what we definitely would d...

We are wired to know the straight and narrow path and to stay on it, but where is the joy in always following footsteps already taken? Nevermind spending all of your days in beige predictability, live seeking happiness wherever and however it may come. You can find happiness in the most uncommon and forgettable places, but you have to be open to it and willing to let it happen. You certainly can not sit around and just hope that it comes to you; you go out get happy. Where are you likely to find happy? With his best-friend Fun of course. Have some fun, take a walk on the wild-side or merely peek out of the box you live in. It could prove to be greatly beneficial. There certainly is no harm in consciously putting more joy in our circumstance more often than we do now. You may even find something or someone you could grow to love. Why not do things we have never done, go places that are foreign to us, meet with people that are unfamiliar, and make an attempt to enjoy...

Your mind is so much stronger than your pride, but left unattended your pride can get in the way of what the mind could achieve. Sometimes we can trick ourselves into a certain train of thought, an approach, or reaction because our pride is leading our response. If you choose to lead consciously affirming the thought, approach, or reaction you would like or deserve; it is more likely that you will gain the perspective you set out for. If we spend our time and energy focusing on the way life has dealt us a bad hand, we can easily distract ourselves from the opportunities life is presenting to us in the present moment. When situations and circumstances are difficult, painful, or unexpected they can be disheartening and discouraging as well which can promote a derogatory mental and emotional response. While that may be considered a normal immediate reaction or perspective given the predicament; it is important that we do not allow ourselves to dwell in that place. Check th...

The worst case scenario has happened- they cheated; now what? While we would like to think that every partner is always on their best behavior, there are times when being human may get in the way. No matter what their surface reasoning is you have to get to the source of the problem first. Cheating is bad, but what causes it is more important than the act itself. People cheat because they are lacking something not necessarily from you but possibly and more likely within themselves. For example, harmless flirting can quickly become an invitation for something more if your partner feels they are not being desired by you. Lack of attention and or affection can leave a wide opening for someone else to step in. Something beyond your control could be the culprit as well. Low self-esteem or any other form of insecurity is a huge issue that often lies at the root of unfaithfulness. Your partner may also be toiling with damage done during previous relationships. Only they can face and ...

I know we would all like to live in a world where our relationships are perfect. A place where everyone's needs are met without hesitation or delay is euphoric to say the least. The truth is, there is no such place. Now that that has been established, let us address how we get what we want from the relationships we have. How do we ensure that our needs are met? Communication is the only way. While we would like to think our needs are simplistic, obvious sometimes you actually have to say what it is you want. Sadly, most people are not mind-readers. While others may be extremely intuitive, innately considerate, or good at guessing, others may need a little help. If you find yourself in a place where your disappointments begin to overshadow your happiness within your relationship the only way to solve the problem is to address it. Saying how you feel may come with some anxiety. I will be the first to say that vulnerability is not an attribute I am terribly familiar or comfortable w...

We are often charged with leftover emotions from past transgressions. When a new issue arises, those old feelings of the past insert themselves into the present. This can lead to an ugly game of tit-for-tat. The question then becomes, how do you move on when you have been betrayed or hurt by someone you care about? Forgiveness is the simple answer, but how do we do that? Forgiveness is a choice. It can not be made without making the decision to forgive and taking the steps to get you there. The first step is to start with yourself. Acknowledge the role you play in your situation. It is much easier to point out the defects, poor choices, and bad behavior of someone else, but it is more helpful to accept what you have done, and what you will do differently to avoid the same situation later. In examining your own defects, choices, and behavior you may find compassion for your loved one. Even if you do not, you will have a better understanding of yourself and the role you p...

Yet another friend is headed for divorce court. It makes me wonder, how they determined when it was over? What or who pushes the big red button for the last time? Is there a certain number of infractions, the severity of one, does the issue seem too big to fix, or are there just too many issues altogether? At what point do you decide to cut your loses and walk away? I can not understand how the same two people who loved each other so much that they were secure enough in their relationship to go before their family, friends, and whatever God they serve to declare their love and commitment to each other forever, could also one day, just decide to walk away. To find oneself at the polar opposite end of your feelings towards the same person you once planned to spend the rest of your life with is unfathomable to me. I thought the idea behind marriage was acknowledging that what you have received and are also willing to give and share with a...

It's election season! Soon there will be television ads, debates, and (especially because the state I live in is a newly deemed swing state) visits from politicians with all the works: eating our food, attending our townhalls, and posing for pictures while shaking hands and kissing babies. I love politics just as much as the next person. A discussion over laws, policies, pundants, and surrogates brings me great joy. Unfortunately, that joy is quickly turned to irritation every election year. Social media sites are flooded with ignorant, political filth and fallacies. The beauty of social media during election year is that it allows us to open up our own political debates and discussions with our friends and family near and far. I have participated in many discussions and was able to teach and learn from them. Most of them were pleasant if not enlightening, but we must be careful not to use these outlets to spread falsehoods and misinform our peers. I would love for th...

At some point in your life, you may face problems that seem larger than life itself. We can all relate to being stuck in a rut: an unrewarding job, an unforgiving figure, or an unfulfilling relationship. It can make you feel as if life has handed you a really bad hand, and having no immediate fix is exhausting and extremely overwhelming. While it may be easier to simply succumb to the pressure of your problem, it is better to take a step back and get some perspective. Every problem has one common thread -they have a purpose. It is up to you to determine what that purpose is, and how to handle it, but you can only tackle a problem once you have dissected it. Get to the root of the problem and focus on the solution instead of the problem itself. Avoid the mistake of giving power to your problems and letting them take over your life. Sure, you must address them, but make sure when you do, you are addressing them in regards to their solution. Merely dwelling on their existe...

While somewhat reluctant, (solely based on my typical taste in genre being non-romance and anti-fad reading) I decided to give the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy a try. 50 Shades of Grey depicts a fantastically, sloppy, unconventional relationship, an intense power struggle between the couple, and their incredibly jaw-dropping, passionately, intoxicating chemistry. The source of their fears, fights, and drama is completely unimaginable and equally overwhelming for both parties. The baggage of the past is constantly present and terribly heavy, but their extraordinary physical connection provides a welcomed distraction that often unleashes steamy, blush-worthy performances throughout. There is very little left to the imagination as the author gives a vividly explicit description of their sexual exploits. (I have no idea how they're going to make the movie.) At the heart of this tale, both characters are struggling to determi...

The best relationships are formed from a truly pure and unexpected place- no premeditation. What begins as an innocent friendship can suddenly become the love you've been waiting for. A stranger on the street can become the love you never saw coming. A blind date can turn into the love of your life. Love can develop and make its way into our lives when we least expect it, and be a beautiful thing destined for longevity. Many relationships do not have longevitity because of the initial intent behind its establishment. Many people suffer from an alarming biological clock, pressure from family members, a self-imposed schedule, or simple loneliness. These obstacles can lead to poor relationship decisions. The girl that "gets around" can change, the guy that smokes more pot than Bevis and Butthead can quit, and that on-again off-again relationship can really work out if you just give it one more try. These relationships are forced and destined for disaster. The f...

Let's be honest, a lot of people want to lose weight but the next statement goes something like: I'm so busy, work is too hectic right now, my kids are my life, etc. = I don't have time. Know this, there will always be things you could or need to do instead of losing weight, but you have to become as big a priority to you as everything and everyone else is in your life. At least, that's what I told myself. I found myself at the end of the day wondering if I'd done anything for me besides shower, and more often than not, the answer was no. I decided to change that. I had to choose to lose. Every day was going to have something to do with my commitment to shedding the pounds. The first thing I had to do was get an exercise routine. Everybody knows, if you don't move you can't lose. Having an exercise routine is so important, but this can be hard especially if you have children, a hectic work schedule, volunteer or have any other commitments. Make a routine...

All of our experiences are meant to serve a positive purpose in our lives. Yes, the good, bad, and the ugly of life has meaning and brings the gift of a positive lesson in tow. They are all meant to teach us something about ourselves, our relationships, or circumstance. It is our job to figure out what that lesson is. While the moment may be a negative one, you must always seek out the lesson it was meant to teach you, find the positive impact it will have on your life, and what your trial or disappointment is revealing to you about yourself. Disappointments are just minor set-backs. Do not give them more credit than they deserve and certainly do not let them deter you from what you want to do or where you want to be. Avoid giving your minor set-backs too much clout. The less power they have- the better. Self pity is not a good look on anybody. We gain nothing by wallowing in our disappointments. Nothing stands in our way more than our own fears. We truly can be our own wors...

The Answer Key: Let's Talk About Sex

Sex for most is meant to be the active expression of love or at least an intense like. For some it is the recognition and thus conquering of a mutual attraction, and for others it is merely a means to blow off some steam. Like it or not, sex plays a major role in any relationship. Sometimes it literally is the defining factor. Friendships are definitely reevaluated when friends turn into lovers. Previously established relationships make a bump up or take a wrong turn and are often end abruptly when sex is introduced, lacking, being withheld, or being done with someone other than your partner. Both or all (I'm not judging) parties involved need to know exactly what sex stands for in the relationship and hold up their end of the bargain. Openly discuss, define, and agree on the purpose sex will serve. Defining the purpose can be a little tricky depending on the circumstances. If you are casually sexing, that's ok as long as everyone agrees to keep...

The Answer Key: Starve Your Stress

From time to time a well-known irritant will come knocking at your door- stress. It can literally ruin a great day, end a fabulous moment, and turn your smile upside down. Stress can have physical effects too, such as headaches, rapid heart rate, and profuse sweating. Unfortunately, we can let stress run ramped and literally lose sleep because of it. If we could prevent stressful situations from ever happening, I am sure most of us would pay top dollar for that cure, but while stress still rears its ugly head in our lives, the best thing we can do is recognize what causes it, and find the best way to resolving it as quickly as possible. Some familiar causes usually come from situations and circumstances beyond our control.  Stress can be brought on by ourselves through a lack of preparation, for example, but other times stress is our reaction to the actions of someone else. How other people act is is totally beyond our control, but we can control how we r...

The Answer Key: Staying in Pursuit of Your Passion

Many of us may never truly live up to our potential because of fear and insecurity. The uncertainty of the future is almost always a culprit, but at the end of the day, you passion, your drive, your ambition will bring to you all of your dreams. While it may take time and experiences, some of which may be failures, you will find find your truest desire, your passion buried underneath. Don't be afraid of it. Welcome the clarity into your life, and chase your dream. This takes me back to a few years ago. My husband and I were newlyweds and expecting our first baby. I was up late one night and got sucked into a real estate infomercial. I actually learned a little bit, but more than anything, I found myself a little discouraged. How could we ever afford to buy a house? We both have student loans, no capital, no savings and a baby on the way. It was an distant goal at the time. Without dwelling on too many of the details, despite the doubt and fear (some of which was not even our...

The Answer Key: Choose You

Every event, circumstance, and trial comes with one thing, a choice. You always have a choice. How you choose to respond, react, or let them impact your life is entirely up to you. We all have had our share of heartaches, disappointments, and pain brought on us by ourselves or others, but what will you do with that? How will you make that experience make you better? The choice is always yours. At the end of the day, only you can make a positive out of a negative. Make the choices that benefits you the most. Take heed to whatever your situation is meant to teach you, make a choice that uplifts you, and do better when you are ever faced with the same adversity. Sometimes things happen to us because we have not made the choice to make the best choice for us individually in that situation. Your actions and reactions are always up to you. You can not control every situation, but you certainly can control how you react to it. At one time, a time I am not proud of, I unknowingly allowed o...

The Answer Key: Hate On, Hater...

Once upon a time I actually would entertain the nonsense that haters spewed about me. Unfortunately, I've even deemed it necessary to defend myself against it. I suppose, sometimes it may have hurt my feelings a  or angered me, but as I have gotten older, and maybe as I have taken more than one opportunity to show and prove my haters wrong, I have embraced the ideal that I am who I subscribe to and not what anyone else labels me. Nobody knows me better than myself, so if I am honest with myself, acknowledging and accepting all that I am including my flaws and room for improvement, there is very little room left for anyone's opinion to really matter.  When people think that making the most of their time is used by trash-talking someone, you better believe that person is so sad, so disappointed, so burdened by the lack luster in their own life and the grand-slam of their own trials, flaws, and failures that at the end of their day, you are all they have, and that is a sha...

Have you ever had a sense that someone was not as happy for you as they seemed? While they were clearly making an effort to put on a happy face, you could tell that their words were disingenuous and more in the name of political correctness than true happiness. Certainly they did not hope for your misfortune, but their joy is faker than a 2 dollar diamond. Try as they may, you can feel the difference. Why is it so difficult for some to share in another's joy? Sometimes people can become disconnected from another's joy because of their own aspiration. Their desires, goals, or lack there of, can cloud their appreciation for the blessings in someone elses life. Avoid this pitfall at all costs. Life is a journey, not a race. It does not matter how quickly you have, achieve, or succeed, but only that you do so in your own time. Forcing yourself to live by someone else's scale may bring you what you want, but it's longevity will be limited. Having an appreciation for the ble...

The Answer Key: Pack Lite for Your Next Chapter

When you are coming out of a chapter into the next, you need to pack lite. Far too often we bring baggage into new opportunities that should have been left behind. This is a common mistake made especially in relationships. Please do not allow the faults of your former love to take a front seat in your new relationship. Don't make your new partner pay the penalty for the transgressions of your former love. That will only make your new boo resentful and perhaps create issues for your relationship that would not otherwise be there. For instance, if your former love was unfaithful, maybe you should have seen the signs sooner, maybe you could have done things differently, but you have to move forward knowing that you are better, smarter, and stronger than you were before. Take time to heal first, then give the new person in your life the opportunity to earn your love with a clean slate. Maybe your last apartment came with noisy neighbors upstairs, well, consider making ...

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The Answer Key: There's No 'D' in Marriage

Yet another friend is going through a divorce and I asked myself- how do we keep getting here? Why are so many seemingly happy couples before their marriage doing a 180 within the first 3 years? What changes and are those changes, if any, so drastic that divorce is the only answer? For starters, I think the beginning of the end begins with you. Many 20-30 somethings get to a certain age, and decide that to fit the timeline they have set for themselves (or someone has set for them), they need to get married soon or as soon as possible. That is the first trending mistake- deciding to get married before finding the one worthy of marrying you. Having that statement in the forefront of your mind changes how you interact with your potential mate. They begin to look like contestants for a game show or applicants for a job instead of lifelong partners. Your relationships become more calculated and you keep tally of how you can make it work instead of weighing the attributes...

Stressful situations will come- that's life, but it's what you do about it that matters. If you're sad- be sad. If you're mad- be mad, but only for a short while. Take a moment to allow yourself to be upset or disappointed because that is what makes you human. We are emotional creatures. We all love and hurt. We all feel pain, sadness, and disappointment from time to time, but refuse to stay and dwell in the storm. Staying in that place takes time away from your plan of action to make it better. With every moment that passes, you could be missing an opportunity to turn things around. If you find yourself constantly surrounded by negativity you need to wake up. (Just because your eyes are open does not mean you are awake.) Be conscious of who and what you allow into your space. When you see it, him, or her coming- run in the opposite direction. Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, she may have seen that bitter goose headed her way. We have to learn to dodge the bi...

You really must take the good with the bad. Life is never going to be a perfectly molded puzzle with each piece fitting exactly where and how you want it. Sometimes things will go awry, the road leads you to the left when you needed to take a right, and your attempts may not go as you planned, but as long as you keep trying, keep pushing forward and have faith and conviction in what it is you want, do what is necessary, and understand what you need, you will find yourself back in a good place. Every instance, situation, and circumstance is an opportunity for you to show growth and improvement. Do better next time, try harder, have a better plan, and be better prepared for pitfalls and stumbling blocks. As long as you keep trying, you give yourself another chance to succeed. Life is full of hills and valleys. Recognize your moments on the hills as the wonderful moments they are and take it all in. Don't waste time up there worrying about the next valley. Give those ...

Most of us, including myself can be our own worst critics. We harp on ourselves about all the things we haven't done, been, seen, or accomplished in our lives. While we all have a plan, we must remember that the plan is a mere outline of what we anticipate happening or doing, but life, is full of surprises. No one knows all that their life will entail loaded with its unforeseen hiccups, blunders, and out right regrettable moments. How ever it unfolds, we have to mellow out a little, and allow ourselves trials and most especially a few errors. We need to acknowledge that hindsight should be 20/20, but it doesn't always happen that way, and every once in a while someone pushes the repeat button. At best, we can hope to recognize the repetition, and make a better decision the second or third time around, but we mustn't continuously punish ourselves for the things and decisions we have not perfected or accomplished. Live every day with more intensity, purpose, and passion a...