The 5 Golden Rules of Expectation
We all participate in relationships that fall beneath our expectations.We tend to think that our silent requests, demands, needs and wants are common-knowledge and should go without saying. We can even fall into an existence where we truly believe our expectations should be met without delay, question, or explanation. The problem is, for most of our requests, no matter how simple, our partners simply do not work that way. There are no mind-readers, and they definitely do not come armed with a manual on the many things and ways to please you, thus leaving you (in your silence) without, waiting, longing and still wanting, or indefinitely deprived of whatever it is you seek. If that is an accurate description of your circumstance, keep reading.
Your expectation is the hope, belief, probability or anticipation of a specific result, outcome, effect, or reaction, but expectation comes with no guarantee. The only means of knowing when your needs and wants are going unnoticed, overlooked, ignored, or disregarded is the result, effect or outcome you have after you have stated what your expectations are. You should not punish someone for not doing, saying, or behaving in a manner that you have failed to make clear. You certainly can not expect your partner to live up to expectations or standards he/she never knew you set.
Here are the rules. Be clear. Communicative clarity is the key to receiving, gaining, and obtaining everything you expect your partner to give. That is in addition to being the kind of partner or friend you want to have. Often times we are mere mirrors of each other. Ask yourself what image you are portraying to your partner. If you want a partner that listens, is affectionate, and caring, try being more of those things. This practice will surely help you understand and appreciate the commitment, effort, and energy it takes to meet your own standards. You may be surprised to see how you measure up. You may even find that your partner readily reflects and matches your efforts. Lastly, when your partner shows you their effort, even if you would like more or better, appreciate and acknowledge the attempt. If nothing else, it shows you that they are trying, and that should count for something.
Your expectation is the hope, belief, probability or anticipation of a specific result, outcome, effect, or reaction, but expectation comes with no guarantee. The only means of knowing when your needs and wants are going unnoticed, overlooked, ignored, or disregarded is the result, effect or outcome you have after you have stated what your expectations are. You should not punish someone for not doing, saying, or behaving in a manner that you have failed to make clear. You certainly can not expect your partner to live up to expectations or standards he/she never knew you set.
Here are the rules. Be clear. Communicative clarity is the key to receiving, gaining, and obtaining everything you expect your partner to give. That is in addition to being the kind of partner or friend you want to have. Often times we are mere mirrors of each other. Ask yourself what image you are portraying to your partner. If you want a partner that listens, is affectionate, and caring, try being more of those things. This practice will surely help you understand and appreciate the commitment, effort, and energy it takes to meet your own standards. You may be surprised to see how you measure up. You may even find that your partner readily reflects and matches your efforts. Lastly, when your partner shows you their effort, even if you would like more or better, appreciate and acknowledge the attempt. If nothing else, it shows you that they are trying, and that should count for something.
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