A Better Way to Be Single
If you are single and getting yourself together, congratulations on learning how to be comfortable with being by yourself. Some people become relationship hoppers. They can barely make it through two months of facing themselves in the mirror and once they are dating, watch out! Before you know it, they will be moving in or at least fantasizing about it. I am so glad you realized that there is nothing wrong with embracing your hiatus and focusing on yourself, healing the wounds whatshis/hername may have left, and just being content with being with you. Kudos! You are already ten steps ahead of your competition.
For the rest of you, you may be simply single or already single and looking; whenever the latter is the case, take applications and lots of them. Keep an open-mind while dating.While you may not think someone is "the one" at first glance, you never know. Dating an unlikely candidate could surprise you. To be perfectly honest, every date may not be marriage material, but where is the harm in having dinner and potentially making a new friend? You may find that he or she is "the one" after all. At the very least, for every new friend there is a new layer of possibilities. Either way, you do not have much to lose over a dinner, there is nothing wrong with making new friends, and certainly nothing wrong with those friends setting you up with their friends.Obviously you want quality, but you should have quantity as well. Who says you have to trade one for the other?
Here are a few ways to correct and avoid common dating mishaps. For starters, too many singles put extremely high expectations on their dating life. Try not to set up every date with the pre-requisite of "potentially my future spouse and life-long partner". It simply makes people uncomfortable right off the back. Secondly, avoid treating your date like they are on a job interview. Ask questions, sure but be sure not to bombard your date with anything too invasive. If they feel like they are taking a pop-quiz they did not study for, it is less likely either of you will enjoy yourselves and even less likely than that you will get honest answers. Lastly, go with flow, take the urgency out of your search, and just have fun. Take a chance and get out of your own way. I get it, there is nothing better than loving someone and being loved in return, but take the pressure off. If you seem desperate they will know, and there are piranhas out there looking for the "desperately seeking relationship" guy or gal to take advantage of. You could find yourself in a relationship that is scarier than being alone and more stressful than seeking Mr. or Mrs. Right. When you think you have it right, make sure you are falling for their actions, not just their words, and not the idea of being in a relationship either, but the emotion of having a real connection with someone, a mental chemistry not solely a physical one, and the hope what you share can grow into something strong, loving, and committed.
For the rest of you, you may be simply single or already single and looking; whenever the latter is the case, take applications and lots of them. Keep an open-mind while dating.While you may not think someone is "the one" at first glance, you never know. Dating an unlikely candidate could surprise you. To be perfectly honest, every date may not be marriage material, but where is the harm in having dinner and potentially making a new friend? You may find that he or she is "the one" after all. At the very least, for every new friend there is a new layer of possibilities. Either way, you do not have much to lose over a dinner, there is nothing wrong with making new friends, and certainly nothing wrong with those friends setting you up with their friends.Obviously you want quality, but you should have quantity as well. Who says you have to trade one for the other?
Here are a few ways to correct and avoid common dating mishaps. For starters, too many singles put extremely high expectations on their dating life. Try not to set up every date with the pre-requisite of "potentially my future spouse and life-long partner". It simply makes people uncomfortable right off the back. Secondly, avoid treating your date like they are on a job interview. Ask questions, sure but be sure not to bombard your date with anything too invasive. If they feel like they are taking a pop-quiz they did not study for, it is less likely either of you will enjoy yourselves and even less likely than that you will get honest answers. Lastly, go with flow, take the urgency out of your search, and just have fun. Take a chance and get out of your own way. I get it, there is nothing better than loving someone and being loved in return, but take the pressure off. If you seem desperate they will know, and there are piranhas out there looking for the "desperately seeking relationship" guy or gal to take advantage of. You could find yourself in a relationship that is scarier than being alone and more stressful than seeking Mr. or Mrs. Right. When you think you have it right, make sure you are falling for their actions, not just their words, and not the idea of being in a relationship either, but the emotion of having a real connection with someone, a mental chemistry not solely a physical one, and the hope what you share can grow into something strong, loving, and committed.
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