The Answer Key

Dreaming is one thing but achieving those dreams is another. Everyone has a dream of doing, having, or being something, but there are steps you must take to turn that dream to into an accomplishment. As the saying goes, 'nothing worth having comes easy', but there is more to the story; it is way more complex than just that. You not only have to believe in yourself but you may be convinced that someone else has to believe too. You may have multiple obligations completed unrelated to your dream. You may not even know where or how to start. Like all things, your first decision is the decision to start, but begin with the commitment and promise you know you can adhere to. Set some goals, minimums, and parameters then start the clock. The first step to successfully doing almost anything is preparation. You must have a real understanding of the process. If you want to run a marathon, you have to know what it takes to go from a novice jogger to a real marathon runner. No one wakes up

Some ladies feel like men need to approach them and there are no if ands or buts about it, and frankly; I am one of those women. Now, while that practice may seem ridiculous to some, there is a method to the madness. Poaching was and has always been a marvelous technique to help weed out the riff-raff. This is my #1 standard by far- I don't approach. That standard's also accompanied by several boundaries: you can not touch me, grind up on me, or come within a half an arm's length of me without my permission. Your standards and boundaries are going to bring you joy and save you from a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache so please set them now without any further delay. My #1 standard has proven itself to hold true as does the theory behind it: men know a woman is not going to entertain him without there being some sort of mutual attraction. They, on the other hand, will entertain almost any woman expressing the desire to be in their company. With that said, how do you kno

Men and women alike want and need 3 things in their relationship: validation, reciprocation, and appreciation. Validation is so important because it lets your partner know that you not only hear but you understand their point of view. That does not mean you have to agree with it, but it lets them know you respect and acknowledge how they feel. In my opinion, this is the hardest part of being in a relationship and even harder when you're in a disagreement. You actually have to set aside your own feelings and perspective on the matter despite how passionately you feel and disagree. Often times we disagree with someone and spend most of the discussion trying to convince them instead of listening and validating their right to feel the way they feel. Validation takes practice, but its definitely a relationship necessity. Reciprocation is really self-explanatory. Relationships are truly defined in give and take, being equally yoked, ying and yang- you get the picture. With that said, g

When I first began blogging, I was asked by several friends if I would do any posts on marriage, and when. I have a real appreciation for the help I've been able to give those wanting to be married, those that are happily married now, and those that are courageously fighting the flames of divorce off of their marriage on a daily basis. The following is the foundation. We, my husband and myself, believe with a strong foundation even the heaviest of burdens can be laid down and the structure they fall upon will remain unshaken; well, maybe shaken, but not destroyed. If you would like to be married one day, these are some of the important things you should consider before doing so. If you are happily married, congratulations; read along and nod your head. If your marriage is in peril; take these words to begin getting back to a simpler place. Find, fix, and even rebuild your foundation. It is never too late as long as everyone is still willing to put in the work. Marriage consists o

I absolutely must address the Grammys b.k.a the circus-fiasco last night. As a true Whitney Houston fan; I have to get this off my chest. Whitney Houston is a true iconic, diva, legend, and idol. I, personally looked up to her when I was a little girl. I don't know a little Jersey girl with big dreams that did not or does not look at the Queen of Pop as an inspiration. Whitney Houston is literally in a league of her own. No one has been imitated more than Whitney. No one's voice is more recognizable around the world. The things she has accomplished most artist only dream of. For example, she, Whitney Houston is THE only soloist to have the #1 song in every country in the WORLD at one given time. Yes, I Will Always Love You reached everybody. With all of that being known and said, the Grammys, in my opinion, did not do her justice. This award show in particular is suppose to celebrate music royalty. What better place and time than in a room full of her peers to gather and tru

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Yay. -___- Personally, I'm not a girl that typically goes nuts over Valentine's Day anyway, but I did think it was worth talking about. How many people you know start a VDay countdown when they're in a relationship and then literally fall off the face of the earth and completely skip the day on the calendar when they're not? Singles, VDay is not to be feared or avoided. It's a day about love so love yourself. Treat yourself to a nice dinner, a day at the spa, or some new lingerie (just in case), or finally let that guy that frequently offers to take you out to do just that and make his day. At the very least, pick up your favorite bottle of wine, a good book, and top it off with a warm bath. This does not have to be a day of mourning. You can not let your lack of a boo turn you into a Bitter-Betty. Buck up and practice making your own day. Put a smile on your own face, and do something for you. Love the one you're with, and if

I know how difficult it is to be on the hunt for a job. You have to practically sleep with the boss-to-be just to get an interview in this economy. Well, if you have more integrity than showing a little boob to your potential employer, here are a few tips to help you stand out from the rest of the pack. So you're in the trenches of job-hunters and your phone just won't ring. How do you get noticed amongst the hundreds of other applicants? Well, you must understand the plight of your potential employer. With so many people unemployed these days, they are literally looking for a needle in a haystack. While the stack of applications flood their desks, acknowledge that you are hardly anything more than another name on a piece of paper. Most employers have the same view of applications- they're pretty much photocopies of each other, but the papers that accompany that application can make all the difference between having a job and still waiting on one. Let's talk about t

On a previous blog I talked about my weight loss. I have 11 pounds to go, but so far I have lost 64 pounds. Many friends have asked me how and what I am doing to get the weight off. Well, I am more than glad to share. I know all too well how hard it is to lose weight. I have tried several different diets, but they never lasted for long and if I lost any weight at all, it eventually came back. This is the first time I've been able to keep weight off and continue losing. January of last year (on my son's birthday), I decided to try to lose at least 50 pounds by December. By Christmas I had not only met, but exceeded my goal. After having 2 boys 2 years apart, and pushing 30, I did not expect to see the body of yesteryear, but I had planned to get as close to it as possible. Before I go any further, the most important thing you need to know is that this is not a diet, but my lifestyle that works and it's free. Now, the first important thing was to start counting calories. I

There are 5 different types of friends. Every friend in your circle serves a purpose. The idea is to recognize what each of your friends bring to the table and what kind of friend you are to them. The purpose of this list is to give an outline of what kind of people you attract and what you can have less or more of in your life. Knowing who you are associating with can help you weed out the negativity and embrace the positivity. The first is the optimist. The optimist is the person that sees the brighter side of every situation. This friend is always looking for the positive, silver lining of your circumstance. He/she plays a very important role in your life. When you find yourself in difficult situation, at a crossroad, or feel as if there is little to no good that can come from your situation; if there is any good to be found, they will find it. While their chipper, optimistic outlook may be welcomed and comforting, it may also not be a realistic viewpoint. Then there is the pes

If you are looking for a real relationship, one that will stand the test of time, one that may bring you the love of your life, there are a few things you need to know. When in search of 'the one' the first thing you have to do is stop searching. That's right. Looking for love is almost a guaranteed step into the wrong relationship or a leap into another year of reservations for a party of 1. Sometimes, during the course of searching for love we can find ourselves forcing a relationship to work that just was not meant to be. Yes, I know all about the fear of spending the majority of your life alone, the ever piercing biological clock for women and the 'all my friends are doing it' rhetoric for men, but the reality is, love is not something that comes with a time table. While we can plan our lives year by year, month by month, and week to week there is no definite plan to secure love. Let love find you, and do the best you can to be ready for that special person to

As a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend I have always found it difficult to carve out time for myself. I'm not just talking about getting a drink of water or sitting down for a bite to eat at some point, I mean really doing something for you- not because you have to, but because you choose to. I have always been so committed and felt so obligated to everything and everyone else in my life; there was no room left for me. Somehow every organization, club, group, person, everything in my life came before ME. I was always so tired, so drained, so exhausted, so depleted that by the time I possibly could have managed to give me some attention, I needed to be asleep so I could get up and do it all over again the next day. I spent years living that way, and frankly, lost a lot of sleep because of it. Have you ever laid in bed at night, and reviewed your day only to find that you were not in it? After what seemed like a fully exhausting day, you can not pick out one thing you did fo

Hi All! I hope you all are enjoying this fabulous day! I'm so glad so many of you are following the blog. In a week there have been almost 100 views of the posts so I know the word is spreading and it's thanks to followers like you. I am so grateful for your support and today, I decided to have a contest! The member with the most friends that join the site will get a free gift from me! All you have to do is continue spreading the word. Ask your friends to login and leave a message with your name. Next Friday, I will tally the totals, contact the winner, and your gift goes in the mail. Good Luck, all, and again... THANK YOU!!! xox 

Usually I post about things that cater to no particular gender, however, this one right here is for the ladies. Fellas, I have not forgotten about you, and will definitely have little something for you at a later date. ;) Now, let's get down to business. First things first, you need to understand the most typical reasons why men usually will not commit in the first place. These reasons have nothing to do with you. These are issues that would be there no matter who he was dating. Simply put, most of them are waiting on the 'bigger, better, deal'- a fatter booty, a cuter face, slimmer waist, good hair, etc. What they don't realize is that waiting on the next best thing turns into anything with a pulse really fast. It will seem as if it happened overnight and then all of a sudden they became 'that dude'. We've all seen him- either at the club or in the grocery store, you can spot 'that dude' from a mile away- middle-aged, probably balding or practical

A positive plus a positive always equals a positive. That being said, more often than not, you will attract the energy you put out. I'm telling you, no matter what someone is going through, if you greet them with positive energy, if you wrap your arms around them and transfer some of that energy to them; it literally and instantaneously can change their attitude or at the very least, it can brighten their day. When you are frumpy, bitter, or grouchy you are going to receive that energy in return. No one smiles at the angry person. No one wants to befriend the bitter one, and no one so much as speaks to the grouchy one. On the other hand, if you walk in a room with a great big smile on your face and joy in your heart there is not a person in that room that can deny you their good energy in return. Everybody you come in contact with is either going to give your positive energy a boost or dumb it down. We feed off each other's energy with every interaction so center yourself befor