It's All In The Approach
Some ladies feel like men need to approach them and there are no if ands or buts about it, and frankly; I am one of those women. Now, while that practice may seem ridiculous to some, there is a method to the madness. Poaching was and has always been a marvelous technique to help weed out the riff-raff. This is my #1 standard by far- I don't approach. That standard's also accompanied by several boundaries: you can not touch me, grind up on me, or come within a half an arm's length of me without my permission. Your standards and boundaries are going to bring you joy and save you from a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache so please set them now without any further delay. My #1 standard has proven itself to hold true as does the theory behind it: men know a woman is not going to entertain him without there being some sort of mutual attraction. They, on the other hand, will entertain almost any woman expressing the desire to be in their company. With that said, how do you know that he is truly interested in you if you make the first move?
The approach is very important. That's the beginning. That's the first sign he gives you to let you know he's willing to work to have you without knowing what that may require. When a woman approaches a man, he doesn't know what to do but go along for the ride and see what happens. He's going with it 9 times out of 10 because he has nothing to lose, no work to put in, nothing to prove- none of that. There are only 2 exceptions to this rule and these days the lines are blurry, but chances are he is either A. married or in a serious, committed relationship, or B. looking for the same thing you're looking for and admiring your shoes. I'm not saying that when or if you approach a man your relationship will be automatically destined for failure, but this is a standard I set for myself a long time ago before I met my husband, and it worked.
Men are a lot like dogs. I hate to keep referring to them in this manner, but when I find a more suitable reference I'll change it. So for now, men are like dogs. They mark their territory with hickeys when you're young and a ring when you're grown. They protect what's theirs by holding you close and putting their arm around you and keeping their eye on you from across the room when you're young, and then they check out unfamiliar sounds in the house with a bat in hand, wearing a bathrobe and boxer shorts when you're grown. We can't forget their #1 commonality, their love of the booty, the rump, the tuckus. They stare at it or try to jump up on it when you're young, and I don't have to tell you what they do when their grown. Lastly, most men need direction and training just like dogs.
That said, there's nothing wrong with sending him an invitation. Draw him in with subtle hints, like holding his eyes with a long flirtatious stare or quick-peeks from time to time, and when he's looking wink at him or lick or bite down on your lips. Stuff like that is a serious invitation, and if fear exists trust that heavy flirtation will relieve his fear of rejection immediately. If none of that works, he's just not interested or at the very least not interested enough so move on. NEXT! There are way too many men in this world to waste your time drooling over one.
Here's the key, let the man show you that you're worth approaching, you're worth the disappointment if you shut him down, and you're worth the effort. Make sure the ball is in your court. You are the lady so make him treat you like one. I don't think there's anything wrong with a man being a man- approach you, pick you up, buy you dinner, take you out- all that good stuff. Why not? You can still be a strong, independent woman and be treated like a lady should be treated. I believe we as women have gotten too wrapped up in being everything and playing all roles in our relationships. Women are complicated creatures, but men aren't so if he wants you, you'll know, and that's how. It's all in the approach. This is an area where the lines should not be fuzzy. If you want me, you have to come and get me.
The approach is very important. That's the beginning. That's the first sign he gives you to let you know he's willing to work to have you without knowing what that may require. When a woman approaches a man, he doesn't know what to do but go along for the ride and see what happens. He's going with it 9 times out of 10 because he has nothing to lose, no work to put in, nothing to prove- none of that. There are only 2 exceptions to this rule and these days the lines are blurry, but chances are he is either A. married or in a serious, committed relationship, or B. looking for the same thing you're looking for and admiring your shoes. I'm not saying that when or if you approach a man your relationship will be automatically destined for failure, but this is a standard I set for myself a long time ago before I met my husband, and it worked.
Men are a lot like dogs. I hate to keep referring to them in this manner, but when I find a more suitable reference I'll change it. So for now, men are like dogs. They mark their territory with hickeys when you're young and a ring when you're grown. They protect what's theirs by holding you close and putting their arm around you and keeping their eye on you from across the room when you're young, and then they check out unfamiliar sounds in the house with a bat in hand, wearing a bathrobe and boxer shorts when you're grown. We can't forget their #1 commonality, their love of the booty, the rump, the tuckus. They stare at it or try to jump up on it when you're young, and I don't have to tell you what they do when their grown. Lastly, most men need direction and training just like dogs.
That said, there's nothing wrong with sending him an invitation. Draw him in with subtle hints, like holding his eyes with a long flirtatious stare or quick-peeks from time to time, and when he's looking wink at him or lick or bite down on your lips. Stuff like that is a serious invitation, and if fear exists trust that heavy flirtation will relieve his fear of rejection immediately. If none of that works, he's just not interested or at the very least not interested enough so move on. NEXT! There are way too many men in this world to waste your time drooling over one.
Here's the key, let the man show you that you're worth approaching, you're worth the disappointment if you shut him down, and you're worth the effort. Make sure the ball is in your court. You are the lady so make him treat you like one. I don't think there's anything wrong with a man being a man- approach you, pick you up, buy you dinner, take you out- all that good stuff. Why not? You can still be a strong, independent woman and be treated like a lady should be treated. I believe we as women have gotten too wrapped up in being everything and playing all roles in our relationships. Women are complicated creatures, but men aren't so if he wants you, you'll know, and that's how. It's all in the approach. This is an area where the lines should not be fuzzy. If you want me, you have to come and get me.
Comments
Post a Comment