A Gift To Yourself

Forgiveness is a choice. It can not be made without making the decision to forgive and taking the steps to get you there. The first step is to start with yourself. Acknowledge the role you play in your situation. It is much easier to point out the defects, poor choices, and bad behavior of someone else, but it is more helpful to accept what you have done, and what you will do differently to avoid the same situation later. In examining your own defects, poor choices, and mis-behavior you may find compassion for your loved one. At the very least, you will have a better understanding of yourself and the role you played in the situation and what you can do differently. Next, when you are no longer angry, address the issue head on. You can not expect anyone to read your mind or know the importance of your issue, if it is not important enough to you to address it. Know that addressing it is not asking for an argument, but looking for a resolution. Make your intention clear so the other party does not feel attacked, but understands why you are offended. You are looking for, at a minimum, clarity and understanding for all parties involved.The hardest yet best step is to find a resolution, let go, and move on. It may be as simple as an apology, compromise, or merely accepting that a mistake was made and defining how to ensure the past does not repeat itself. Harboring pain, disappointments, or any transgression weighs you down. Release you emotional baggage. If nothing else comes of the steps you have taken to forgiveness, the most important step is to let it go. It will lift your spirits even if it does not repair the relationship. People make mistakes. Know your limitations regarding others thoughts, emotions, and action. Simply be responsible for you. Forgiveness is the best gift you can give yourself. Know that you can not fix people but you can heal yourself.