The Answer Key

Many of us have taken part in the blame game before. It was his or her fault. Their offenses were far greater than our own. We tried to fix it, but they gave up on us. Hopefully, once we climb down off that huge stack of s---self-pity, we get to the root of what really happened there. When you understand what causes a break up there is no "one" to blame. There are simply issues that went unresolved. Understanding what ends a relationship and the part you play in that ending is crucial. It could be anything lacking: intimacy, trust, communication, the list could go on for days, but understanding where your former relationship stands on its demise is vital to the longevity of your next one. You have to be careful not to bring any poor habits into your new relationship that could hurt its chances. Unfortunately, some form of baggage is inevitable, but it can be used to your advantage. We need it as a friendly reminder of what not to do the next time, what we definitely would d...

We are wired to know the straight and narrow path and to stay on it, but where is the joy in always following footsteps already taken? Nevermind spending all of your days in beige predictability, live seeking happiness wherever and however it may come. You can find happiness in the most uncommon and forgettable places, but you have to be open to it and willing to let it happen. You certainly can not sit around and just hope that it comes to you; you go out get happy. Where are you likely to find happy? With his best-friend Fun of course. Have some fun, take a walk on the wild-side or merely peek out of the box you live in. It could prove to be greatly beneficial. There certainly is no harm in consciously putting more joy in our circumstance more often than we do now. You may even find something or someone you could grow to love. Why not do things we have never done, go places that are foreign to us, meet with people that are unfamiliar, and make an attempt to enjoy...

Your mind is so much stronger than your pride, but left unattended your pride can get in the way of what the mind could achieve. Sometimes we can trick ourselves into a certain train of thought, an approach, or reaction because our pride is leading our response. If you choose to lead consciously affirming the thought, approach, or reaction you would like or deserve; it is more likely that you will gain the perspective you set out for. If we spend our time and energy focusing on the way life has dealt us a bad hand, we can easily distract ourselves from the opportunities life is presenting to us in the present moment. When situations and circumstances are difficult, painful, or unexpected they can be disheartening and discouraging as well which can promote a derogatory mental and emotional response. While that may be considered a normal immediate reaction or perspective given the predicament; it is important that we do not allow ourselves to dwell in that place. Check th...

The worst case scenario has happened- they cheated; now what? While we would like to think that every partner is always on their best behavior, there are times when being human may get in the way. No matter what their surface reasoning is you have to get to the source of the problem first. Cheating is bad, but what causes it is more important than the act itself. People cheat because they are lacking something not necessarily from you but possibly and more likely within themselves. For example, harmless flirting can quickly become an invitation for something more if your partner feels they are not being desired by you. Lack of attention and or affection can leave a wide opening for someone else to step in. Something beyond your control could be the culprit as well. Low self-esteem or any other form of insecurity is a huge issue that often lies at the root of unfaithfulness. Your partner may also be toiling with damage done during previous relationships. Only they can face and ...

I know we would all like to live in a world where our relationships are perfect. A place where everyone's needs are met without hesitation or delay is euphoric to say the least. The truth is, there is no such place. Now that that has been established, let us address how we get what we want from the relationships we have. How do we ensure that our needs are met? Communication is the only way. While we would like to think our needs are simplistic, obvious sometimes you actually have to say what it is you want. Sadly, most people are not mind-readers. While others may be extremely intuitive, innately considerate, or good at guessing, others may need a little help. If you find yourself in a place where your disappointments begin to overshadow your happiness within your relationship the only way to solve the problem is to address it. Saying how you feel may come with some anxiety. I will be the first to say that vulnerability is not an attribute I am terribly familiar or comfortable w...