Don't Scrap the Plan for the Man
We have been taught that men are the heads of our households, but that's not entirely true. While the man is and should be the head, the woman is the brain behind the operation. We are planners, organizers, and prioritizers by nature. Men are providers, workers, and fixers by their nature. How silly is it of you to expect him to plan out your relationship year by year when he doesn't plan his day until he's in it? Ask any man you know what he's wearing tomorrow. I guarantee you most don't have a clue. The ones that do either have a certain outfit for each day of the week (don't think we haven't noticed), or a really good reason behind it- A. they wear a uniform every day or B. they have their own man they're trying to get organized as we speak.
Let's be honest, as soon as you enter into a relationship the plans get set in motion. Whether your partner realizes it or not, most of you are already planning when you'll move in together, setting the wedding date, and checking out the bridal magazines in the grocery store. Let's stop pretending we don't know what we want and just put it out there. All too often women find themselves stranded in a dead end relationship because she didn't state her purpose and expectations, and then she wonders how she found herself left in limbo until her man gets knocked upside the head by one of her friends, or she straight loses it and gives him an unrealistic ultimatum.
Truth is, there are very few men under the age of 40 who actually plan out every step of their lives let alone their relationships, and let's face it, most of them fell into a relationship without even trying, so to think your man has this intricate plan brewing for his life that revolves around you and your happiness is crazy. To think a man is planning out your future is absolutely absurd especially when he's busy trying to figure out his own life and purpose on a daily. You, on the other hand, have been making plans your whole life. You could very easily adjust your plan to fit him in it if you chose to, so do that.
Here's where most women go wrong- they scrap the plan for the man. Being in a relationship does not and should not require scrapping your plan or giving it a complete overhaul unless the changes make the plan better. Does he make you better? Is his inclusion an improvement? Your job as the woman in your relationship is to figure out how to include him in your plans, assist him in organizing his goals, and lay the out the draft for your life as a unit. How the plans are set in motion requires a collaboration and input from you both, but the outline starts with you.
Unfortunately, ladies are choosing to stall all of their plans, goals, and dreams and place them off to the side to focus all of their energy and attention on their boo. Stop It. It's not healthy to idolize your man. He is a mere human just as yourself. He has just as many if not more faults and odd quirks as you do, and in addition to all of that; his plans can change at the drop of a hat, snap of a finger, flip of a coin- you get the point. Once you both realize you are meant to be, choose to be, or intend to be together forever; you need to initate Operation United. It is your job to lay out what you think is the best course of action for you as a unit, for yourself as an individual, himself as an individual, and how you plan to accomplish these things collectively. Laying out the ground work will allow you both the security in knowing you have the same expectations for your relationship, and it also lets you know if the relationship is or isn't worth staying in.
Don't be afraid of the truth. The truth really does set you free, and knowing what to expect from your partner, knowing his expectations, and your collective goals for your relationship will either make it better or avoid the delay of the inevitable. Trying to force it, scrapping your plans for his in the moment, or becoming someone other than yourself to suit the needs of the one your with just because you don't know who or what's next is luducris. Your plan should always begin with the goal of being happy, with yourself, in life and in your relationship. What are you doing or how are you planning to achieve happiness in your life? Asking yourself that question regularly will definitely help you avoid making poor adjustments to your plan, make you face the reasons behind the adjustments you do make, and hopefully help you make the best choice for you as an individual first, but never, ever completely scrap the plan for the man...
Let's be honest, as soon as you enter into a relationship the plans get set in motion. Whether your partner realizes it or not, most of you are already planning when you'll move in together, setting the wedding date, and checking out the bridal magazines in the grocery store. Let's stop pretending we don't know what we want and just put it out there. All too often women find themselves stranded in a dead end relationship because she didn't state her purpose and expectations, and then she wonders how she found herself left in limbo until her man gets knocked upside the head by one of her friends, or she straight loses it and gives him an unrealistic ultimatum.
Truth is, there are very few men under the age of 40 who actually plan out every step of their lives let alone their relationships, and let's face it, most of them fell into a relationship without even trying, so to think your man has this intricate plan brewing for his life that revolves around you and your happiness is crazy. To think a man is planning out your future is absolutely absurd especially when he's busy trying to figure out his own life and purpose on a daily. You, on the other hand, have been making plans your whole life. You could very easily adjust your plan to fit him in it if you chose to, so do that.
Here's where most women go wrong- they scrap the plan for the man. Being in a relationship does not and should not require scrapping your plan or giving it a complete overhaul unless the changes make the plan better. Does he make you better? Is his inclusion an improvement? Your job as the woman in your relationship is to figure out how to include him in your plans, assist him in organizing his goals, and lay the out the draft for your life as a unit. How the plans are set in motion requires a collaboration and input from you both, but the outline starts with you.
Unfortunately, ladies are choosing to stall all of their plans, goals, and dreams and place them off to the side to focus all of their energy and attention on their boo. Stop It. It's not healthy to idolize your man. He is a mere human just as yourself. He has just as many if not more faults and odd quirks as you do, and in addition to all of that; his plans can change at the drop of a hat, snap of a finger, flip of a coin- you get the point. Once you both realize you are meant to be, choose to be, or intend to be together forever; you need to initate Operation United. It is your job to lay out what you think is the best course of action for you as a unit, for yourself as an individual, himself as an individual, and how you plan to accomplish these things collectively. Laying out the ground work will allow you both the security in knowing you have the same expectations for your relationship, and it also lets you know if the relationship is or isn't worth staying in.
Don't be afraid of the truth. The truth really does set you free, and knowing what to expect from your partner, knowing his expectations, and your collective goals for your relationship will either make it better or avoid the delay of the inevitable. Trying to force it, scrapping your plans for his in the moment, or becoming someone other than yourself to suit the needs of the one your with just because you don't know who or what's next is luducris. Your plan should always begin with the goal of being happy, with yourself, in life and in your relationship. What are you doing or how are you planning to achieve happiness in your life? Asking yourself that question regularly will definitely help you avoid making poor adjustments to your plan, make you face the reasons behind the adjustments you do make, and hopefully help you make the best choice for you as an individual first, but never, ever completely scrap the plan for the man...
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