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Showing posts from June, 2013

The Lack Thereof: 3 Major Relationship Destroyers

Most relationships fail because there is a lack of communication, dedication, or appreciation. Communicating is the reciprocation of listening to your partner, speaking to your partner, and using the sum of that conversation to understand, resolve, or define what is or is not happening in the relationship. Most communication issues stem from dishonesty, failure to be willing to view another perspective, or outside conversations are louder than the ones between you and your partner. The hardest part of communicating is doing it with the constant overtone of love. The lack of dedication is the second most common reason why relationships fail. This may stem from a number of things such as one feels unappreciated, one feels inferior, one feels superior, or one has simply given up. Any one of these things can lend itself as the culprit or conspirator for cheaters. Lastly, the lack of appreciation can also be the catalyst from which relationships fail as well. The lack of appreciation is th...

The Most Essential Key To Be Happy

Everyone would love to spend their life frolicking through weedless gardens and sunbathing on a beach, however, while there may be some days of bliss life comes with its storms as well. When there are storm clouds over your life, and you feel as if the rain simply will not stop pouring out frustration, hurt, disappointments, and pain, persevere. Practice what it is you want to see in your life. If you want to be loved show love to someone else. If you want to be appreciated show your gratitude. If you want to be happy, count your many blessings great and small. Have no doubt that while you may be in a difficult situation presently, eventually there will be relief. In the meantime, remember that before every rainbow you must first endure the storm. You may not be in control of your current situation, but your circumstance does not have to have control over you. No matter what you are going through, there is so much to be grateful for despite whatever is not going according to your plan....

The Building Blocks of A Positive Joyful Life

Become a person of conscious living and positive intentions. People make the most mistakes when they are acting or reacting simply in the moment of that circumstance without having taken time to step back and process it. Be motivated by the inner positive perspective. The key to living most peacefully is not necessarily seeing everything through happy goggles, but on the best terms and pulling away from that experience with at the very least a lesson to help you moving forward. Sometimes bad things will happen, you will be disappointed, people may hurt you, but you have to keep in mind that you have a choice when it comes to how that will affect you. You can either let that damage, wound, or deter you, or you can stand in a place that will allow the experience to positively impact your life. Time is fleeting now matter what. Next year, your birthday will come and you will be another year older whether you like it or not. Knowing that, choose to make the best of all of your days ahead. ...

What's Missing?

Some would say that the key to a healthy, happy, successful relationship is love, but love comes with a mousy twin. It is not nearly as loud and in your face, but just as important as love none the less. Her name is compassion. Compassion is what is missing when most relationships fail. Simply put, the failure comes from an inability to respect, appreciate, or acknowledge the complexity of your partner's experience. Compassion will allow you to express empathy. It helps you really see from your partner's perspective without judgement. Compassion elevates the passion in your love and raises your gratitude for loving and being loved in return. It is most unfortunate that we as a species are desensitized over time. Our appreciation, adoration, and admiration for what is "ours" declines. The things we once held so dear to us lose their sparkle and shine, and they become dull and tarnished in our eyes. Our job as our partner's partner is to make the conscious effort to...

Be You!

Who are you? The question we as a generation are presently struggling to figure out. Through most of our twenties and hopefully, only some of our thirties, we will chase the answer to that question. After looking under every rock of possibility, stumbling over the jagged ones of what would appear to be opportunity, and avoiding, going around, under, or over the boulders with potential but clearly not a good fit for us; we will eventually find a path that is comfortable. Right now, you may not have everything you hope for, the car, the house, the job of your dreams, or that special someone to share your journey with, but that does not mean you never will. Stay focused. Be about your business. Most importantly, stay positively productive. Get in the habit of doing something every day to bring you closer to your dreams. No matter how long the journey may seem to be, when you know what you want, have a plan on how to get it, and be in the act of making it happen. Talk the talk, and wal...

Always Half Full

The glass you keep hearing about, the one that is sometimes considered half empty, well, let's clear up the confusion. Your glass, is always half full. There is always something in the tank. Your perspective is what makes the difference in how you see it. Always look at your glass from the top down, not from the bottom up. Do not concern yourself with what has gone wrong, how little you have, or how far you have to go. Be focused on the solutions for your situation. Apply your energy to the gratitude you have for the many needs that have been met in your life, the circumstances that have gone precisely the way you needed, and how far you have come from where you have been. Your glass may be half full but at least it is not empty. It may very well not always be overflowing, but as long as you still have something in it, you are still in the game and you can win. As long as you repeatedly decide that you will not quit, you will never lose. Sure, sometimes you will get tired, feel dra...

The Most Important Job You'll Ever Have

Your most important job in this life is to live it to the best of your ability and live in a space of self-accountability. That means that you are to live it to the fullest with as much happiness and positivity as you can squeeze into each day, learn from and forgive yourself for all of your mistakes, spread love and joy as often as you can, and attempt to be that much better than you were yesterday. Whether that is in your relationship, your occupation, or your own self being, your job is to continuously strive to be better. That said, how much better can you be if you let the shadow of misery, bitterness, resentment, hate, or stress of others cloud your energy? That is like fighting two opponents with one hand tied behind your back. Just because it can be done, does not make it fair. Unfortunately, you will encounter people who have no real concept of boundaries or limitations, and those are likely the ones that will dump their trash in your lap. They may even expect you to wallow in...

Work!

Put in some work. Give your stuff some extra time. Put the necessary work into the things you love. No matter what, practice does make perfect. Work on what it is you do, have, or want, and give it your best every time. You may not think what you do matters, but it does. It should matter to you that you are persistent. It should matter to you that you always do your best. It should matter to you, that no matter what anyone else says, you are a work in progress and put your best effort into everything you do. Even the smallest bit of progress moves you forward and brings you closer to your goal and better than you were. Be constantly at work, on yourself, on your dreams, on your relationships. There is always work to be done. As long as you are working that means you are trying, making an effort to be, have, and make things better. It is only when you stop working that you become a quitter, a loser, or failure. That said, get to work.

Refuse to Be Used*

It is perfectly admirable and highly recommended to do for others and be willing to give, share, and love abundantly, however, you should have some boundaries and limitations as well. Know the difference between being a good friend, companion, confidant, or resource and being used. Yes, it is a rewarding feeling to have advised, supported, assisted, or aided another in some way, and perfectly acceptable to be willing to lend a helping hand. However, some people can sometimes be completely open to receiving the benefits that come with knowing you and having you in their life, but not in your cheering section. There will always be the kind of people that are entirely motivated by self-preservation, egocentricity, selfishness, vanity, and flat out narcissism. They are perfectly capable of taking complete advantage of you whenever possible, disrespecting your space, time, and limitations repeatedly and frequently. Those people are thoroughly unaware of boundaries and fully intent on using ...